A few of my favorite things!

OK, one of my favorite things about Thanksgiving is the vacation time afterwards to start pulling out the Christmas decorations. Ok, it's not my favorite thing to start decorating, infact I get quite onery when I decorate, but....one of the best things is pulling out the box marked "ORNAMENTS". Our family Christmas tree is what you would most likely call a modge podge Christmas tree. I have ornaments on there from when I was a kid, ones from when the kids were little, and ones from family and friends throughout the years. This is my favorite tree off all. I will take a modge podge tree over a beautiful highly decorated tree anyday. So, me and the kids will sit down and go through the onrnaments and reminsce about each one. They love it as much as I do. I buy the kids a new ornament each year to add to our collection. I tell them that when they are married they can take their ornaments with them and start their own MODGE PODGE tree. We have such a great time. Here are a few of our favorites.
This one is one I have had since I was a little girl. Even when Mom got a nice pretty cordinated tree, I still had to hang this one on the tree. This is the one ornament that I get so excited to see each year.

This one is one that represents my hobby of photography. I loved the old fashioned camera.

These represent my preschool teaching days.

This one realy represents what Steph is all about. Her love for ice cream!

These next two represents Stephs SCOOBY DOO faze and Strawberry Shortcake faze.


This one represents the love of basketball that Sam has.

And this one is Sams love of PIGS! We all get a kick out of this one!
And this one of Sams is from our phase of visiting the M&M World in Vegas.

And for Mike what would Christmas be without her love for Elvis! Here is her Elvis Ornament collection.

This one is special to Mike because it came from her "GREAT GRANDMA FLUFF" at least that is what she called her. It's really great grandma Huff.

And this one is one of Mike's favorites becasue it was her first ornament.
Now of course Kurtis doesn't get sentimental over all the ornaments so we have to do it for him. Me and the girls picked out this one for him because it does represent his love to save money. Kurtis is known for taking his own lunch to work everyday to save a buck. While everyone else goes out to eat every day, he makes his own lunch. So we thought this lunch box fit him perfectly.

And of course we can forget Jack who got his first ornamaent last year.

So there are just a few of our favorite things. Now here is what it looks like all put together. This is the modge podge tree.

Now, like I said Kurtis isn't sentimental over the Christmas ornaments, but the one thing that he is very proud of is that he gets his own tree. The FIREMAN TREE. This tree is loaded with fire department ornaments. I then get to build my villiage around it. The tree also comes complete with ladder garland and a fire hose, Kurtis's dads fire boots, and a Teddy Bear Fireman.

So now that I'm to this point, I am getting excited with the Christmas Spirit. It's a wonderful time of year. So I have also added to my playlist, some of my favorite Christmas songs. Enjoy!

From Knee Surgery to Stroke

OK, it's 2:30 in the morning and I have been awake since about well, have I really gone to bed yet........Not really. I am sitting here in bed with many emotions running through my body. I'm not sure what to think right now or what quite to feel. The last few days have been a roller coaster ride with many bumps on the track. I am feeling so many different feeling right now that some are very sad, some are very mad and some are very selfish. So I am writing this right now because I am not quite sure how to express myself. Every one else is all in bed asleep and I am left up all alone trying to deal with what I am feeling. This all started on Monday when John (my step dad) went in for knee surgery. He has been working up to this knee surgery for quite awhile. They have even come in to moms house and had set up all the equipment for his recovery when he came home. He went through many tests to show that he was fit for this surgery. Every thing suggested that all was well. So, he went in for his surgery on Monday. But let me say, somewhere in the back of my mind to me something didn't feel right about the surgery, but of course my thoughts were ones of me just worrying about how things would go. I thought I was just being silly and passed off the feelings I was feeling. Of course because things always work out this way for me, it has been a very busy couple of weeks for me. Busy selfish things filled with work issues, kid issues, church issues and such.....don't get me wrong these things are important too, but it never fails for me, I get so busy trying to just get caught up with everything that when things like this....(surgery) come along I squeeze it in where I can, but on the other hand.....things were suppose to be ok too. I was going to go up Tuesday and spend the day with Mom at the hospital while the kids were at school. Well Steph ended up being real sick. I didn't feel right sending her to grandma Parks with all the other grandkids when she was sick, so I stayed home with her, and being selfish again, it was kind of nice just to stay home. I was so exhausted and drained that both of us snuggled up in my bed and I slept for 3 hours. And yes, it did feel nice to rest. But as always when I choose not to do that other important thing......everything goes wrong. Guilt sets in. And now here I sit wondering how everything could go so wrong. Is it because I keep making the wrong decisions. I don't know. But anyway John did really well after his surgery. So after staying home with Steph on Tuesday, I though well all is good I can squeeze going in on Friday when I can take Sam up to her Doctors appointment in American Fork. After all I had committed to work on Thursday and that was important too cuz the were giving me the opportunity to come in and catch up on all the testing issues, and tie up loose ends on the new Chorus room computer lab I have been setting up. And I also committed to sub on Friday. I have it very important to take these extra days that they give me to help pay for the doctor appointment we have to send Sam too. So I take what I can get. So tell me how do you prioritize when I always seem to prioritize the wrong way. So, I go to work on Wednesday which is my regular day. It was an important day too. It was the first day of our district writing assessment mandated by the State. I had Mrs. Morgans and Mrs. Keens class coming in the same time to the lab. I had to do extra work to set up for this test. They have 38 student between the two of them so we had to both me and Morgan in there. And of course this would be the day that my phone went dead. It was 3 bars the night before. Why does this happen. I get an email from Kurtis telling me that they think John has had a stroke. I'm feeling torn and I'm feeling selfish. Why Now, I'm busy with an important test. But being realistic, I know where I need to be. The Hospital. Then I want to kick my self for being selfish. I know this isn't about me, this isn't about bad timing. This is happening, this is real, And then I start thinking......I CAN"T DO THIS AGAIN! I watched Dad die from a stroke about 15 years ago. He died within 24 hours, and within 24 hours our lives changed so much. Mom changed so much, everything changed so much. They were hard years! The were lonely years, And now...at this moment we have to do it again. And now I have to watch Mom go through this again. I don't want to do this again. And there I go being selfish again. I am such a selfish person. So anyway after all this running through my head, I have Paula (school secretary) call the other schools and get Sam and Mike out while I tie up loose ends at the school and leave Morgan with 38 students and grab Steph from class and we head up to the hospital. Emotions are high, We catch Kurtis in the van in Spanish Fork just leaving work and follow him up. He was going to give a blessing to John. We get to the ICU, we wait for a bit because John is having a Cat scan done. The doctor informs us that the Cat scan shows nothing. So then we wonder....why is he not responding. Why won't he wake up. So then they think it is the medicine. So they stop giving him all any pain meds. This poor man! Just had major knee surgery, and they are taking them of is pain medicine. But the think that will jar him back.....but.........it didn't. So at this point a blessing is done. We felt some hope. He tried to open his eyes and weakly squeezed or moved his fingers.........but not for long. He just became more unresponsive. Kurtis had to leave to finish the ovens at the lab. He took Steph with him and Mike and Sam stayed with me. I am so thankful that they were with me. At times like this they can be such a great strenght to me. Especially after leaving the ICU room and heading for the waiting room, we come face to face with my sister and her husband. Yes this is my only sister and I don't have brothers. Yes this is the sister who has disowned my family for the last year and a half because I wouldn't get in the middle of a fight between her and mom. Because for the first time in many years, I was in a good place with both of them and I didn't want to ruin that. How selfish of me. And now...on top of Johns situation, I had to deal with her. And I knew at that exact moment how all of this was going to play out. So when there was nothing left we could do at the hospital that night, me and the girls left for home. John was going in for an MRI in the morning so I thought I would go ahead and go to work for a few hours until I heard anything. About 12:30 I pulled Michaela out of school and we went up. I felt like I should be there. When I got there of course my sister was there. Which I know she has every right to be there, but me being selfish and ever so irritated that she has had nothing to do with us over this time and hardly anything with Mom except for some cold yes and no conversations, walks back in and is joined at the hip with Mom. So like I said, I knew how everything was going to play out, but ok Jill stop being so selfish. This isn't about you, this is about Mom and John. So I got to go back and see John for only just a min. cuz they had come back with his MRI results which still showed nothing so they wanted to do a spinal tap and check his fluids. We had to leave the room. So why they did that Mom, me, mike and yes of course Danalyn went to have lunch at the cafeteria. Trying hard to be civil. Trying hard..........when she pops off with her rude, belittling, how did you get to be so stupid Jill comment. And yes at that moment the true reality hits me.......I have been a better person with out you for the last year and a half. And it hits me too, Danalyn you are a bully. You are rude. And you are manipulative! You are the type of person that I have been trying to keep Sam away from because of the damage people like you do.....you are the type of person that makes my daughter have to her Doctor in American Fork. You are the type of person that has turned our life upside down. YOU ARE AN ADULT BULLY! You like to tear people down who are a threat to you! I was in your way of Mom and you manipulated your way back in and are going to push me out again by making me feel like I am stupid, and what I have to say is not important. I was frustrated, I was angry at her. Even Moms personality changes toward us when Danalyn is around. She manipulates and Mom can't see it. Even Michaela noticed it. She would try and talk with her grandma and she would be distracted by something Danalyn would say or do. Mike didn't even get to see john this time. I felt like exploding I felt so mad, I'll I could think about was how she hasn't been around for so long and mom leaned on our family for support, not I was just a fixture and like I said I knew exactly how all this was going to play out, So Instead of blowing up in front of my family and Johns, I decide it's best to leave. It's late anyway, Mike needs to get home, I'm missing Sams volleyball game, and there is no change. I cried all the way home. I cried cuz I'm so selfish during this time, I cried cuz I am so angry with my sister, and I'm crying cuz Mom didn't even flinch when she talked to me the way she did. And yes I am crying cuz John is in the situation he is in and we don't know why. So I get home, I cry my eyes out to Kurtis. I give all my girls hugs and let them know how much i appreciate them. We go to bed.....I don't sleep, I'm still so angry, upset and confused........then the call comes. It's mom. After I left the neurologist had come in (Of course it is after I leave so I miss being part of the bond that is going on, but no shock there, it always works out that way for me.....this is my pity party) anyway, he confirms that John has had a stroke. Why it didn't show up on the scan and MRI I don't know, but it will be a couple of days until we know the damage. So now here I sit, wondering (being selfish) wonder how all this is now going to play out. Where do I fit in to the scheme as all of them are all together at moms house having stroke mourning bonding time while I let myself walk away and not be included. I try to do the right thing but the right thing is always wrong. Being alone at now 4:00 in the morning is hard. Knowing that I will just fixture now that Danalyn is back in the picture is hard. Knowing Mom has to go through another stroke victim is hard. Seeing what John is going through is hard. Knowing Johns kids have to go through what we have already been through once is hard. Knowing I don't really have anyone to talk to about this......IS HARD. Let see if I can find a bright side to this. I guess if Mom and Danalyns bond has been restored after all this time, then that's great for mom. I know she has missed her relationship with Danalyn. I was a good substitute during that time, and I am thankful for the times me and mom had during that time. I don't know if me and Danalyns relationship will ever mend. I want and (and need) to be around people who lift me up, not tear me down. For some reason Danalyn likes to tear me down. And I guess I am thankful for recognizing that now because for many years I really thought I was as dumb as she liked to make me feel. I felt like I deserved the treatment because I was an idiot. But the year and a half that she didn't want to be part of our lives, I grew, my horizons were endless. I was a person, I was important and I am here! And during this time also, relationships for my girls expanded as they embraced what kurtis family could do for them. They grew closer to other aunts as they needed guidance through difficult times. So if John having a stroke has brought me to realize these things, there is a positive note. My thoughts and prayers are with John at this time. I feel for him. The unknown is now ahead of us and I don't know what it will bring. Yes I am scared, Yes I am nervous and yes, I am concerned. I pray that Mom will have the streangth to deal with whatever will come her way. My heart is broken in many different ways at this time. I pray to that the Lord will bless me with the streangth I will need, and the courage to do what I need to do. I don't know if this blog will make sense to anyone but me, after all it is now 4:15 in the morning. Probably it wont even be read by anyone either because it is sooooo long, but at least it was a means for me to express someway what I am feeling. To sort out my feelings, and to occupy my sleepless night. But this is a wakeup call to embrace life while it's here. Take the time to put important things first. Life is a journey with bumps in the road, its how we drive over them that counts. My prayers are with all involved or anyone else going through a hard time at this time. GOODNIGHT (or morning)..it's almost time for me to get up now.

Mikes Ramalama Bang Bang video. Pause my music and watch.

Our Busy But Fun Saturday!

To bad for me, no sleeping in on Saturday. We had a big day ahead of us. To start it off, we had to have Mike down for a dance dress rehearsal for an EMOTION IN MOTION Dance performance. Now those of you who know Mike know how indecisive she can be! Let me back track to the night before. On Friday after we took Sam to a doctors appointment in American Fork, while we were up there we had to go find Mike an outfit for this dance......first the story was "we need to think Michael Jackson Thriller video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8. Well, then half way through the night she changed her mind and said she needed to look more like the zombies in the video Ramalama Bang Bang video (which was the song they were dancing to). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfR9VJBVPgk. You got to watch this video. The first time I seen it I thought it was the weirdest thing I have ever seen, but the more I watched it the more it grew on me and now I really like the dance. Any way back to the story. So we went looking for more of a prom type dress to shred up, then again she changed her mind and said no we need to look more like the drill team did when they performed this. AHHHHH MIKE! Make up your mind. So then after me getting a little upset saying "WHICH KIND OF DEAD PERSON DO YOU WANT TO BE????" So we ended up finding a cute "GANGSTA SUIT" and shredded it all up. We actually bought it a little to small so we had to cut it and tear it in places she needed to move in her dance. So any way back to Saturday morning....The girl once again can't make up her mind if she needs to be there at 9:30 or 9:45. Now she told me the night before that it was 9:30. So we argued over that till she then started panicking that maybe it was 9:30. So yeah we finally got her down there and guess what.....no one is there...hmmm maybe it is 9:45. Then I ran back home finished getting us all ready. Mom and John came down to watch her, so we all loaded up and went down to the boutique and got our seats. Here are some pics of her dance. I am trying to also load her video on, but our camera cords aren't working right so when I get it working right I will post it.

They did a good job! So, when it was over we walked around the craft show for a min. John left and went golfing. He is trying to get in all the golfing he can before he has knee surgery done on both knees on the 17th. OUCH John! Steph of course no matter where you go thinks she always has to buy something. So she snuck her wallet down and bought her a bow and arrow. (And of course, it is all broke now). So after the craft show, me, mom, Mike and Sam went to Super Saturday at the church. I made Mike go in her dance costume and she felt way out of place and went home. Sam stayed for awhile then when it was time for lunch she ended up going home because there was nothing she could eat because of her treatment and the doctors the day before. No sugar for 25 hours! Now that's hard! But me an mom stayed and had a great time. Here are the things we made.

Sam ended up coming back after she found her something at home to eat. We stayed till about 1:30 then came home. Once we got home I got yelled at by Mike because she couldn't get the snarls out of her hair...I did good!!!! She couldn't even get her hair wet because is was so snarly. Some and mom to combs the her head. Each of us took a side and started working at the snarls. POOR KID! Then we waited for John to get home. Once he got home, it was time to start Kurtis birthday. Mom gave him a new gun...well actually an OLD gun but new to him. It was one of my dads guns he wanted. It was a pistol I think. He was excited to get it. So along with the gun I had mom and John bring his present down from us. And finally I think I did it. I actually got a present he liked! (That doesn't happened very often!). We got him a gun safe. I knew he was excited about it because he immediately put it together. Steph of course was the littler helper at putting it together. She thought too that it was a great place to hang out in. (So did Jack).

After that Steph brought out the Birthday Cake she had made for Kurtis. So some of us had birthday cake before we went out to dinner.

Sam was so glad when 5:30 came around! That was the time that she could start eating anything again. So right at 5:30 we all went out to One Man Band for dinner. We had a great time up there. Sam ate her whole meal! She was hungry! Mom and John wished they would have shared their meals. I had a chef salad that was way healthy......ah that is until I put all that yummy ranch on it. But after our dinner, mom and John decided they better get for home. Me and mom took turns taking these pics. You think I would just use my timer. LOL.

Look at Mike in these photos! She looks like COUSIN IT. I guess it is much better than her snarly hair. It was a busy day but at the same time it was nice to spend a whole day with my family. Thanks everyone and Happy Birthday Kurtis.

Camping on Deer Hunt Weekend

Ok now, we are not much for the hunts, but we decided to go be amongst the hunters and do some camping over the deer hunt. We had a great time of course. I love going camping. We went out on Darin Howards property up by the Pinery and camped with his family. We left Thursday Evening and came home early Sunday. Here are some pics from the campout. They are probably not in any order though. This one is Steph, Kambree and Jordan going on a hike. I think they went quite a ways. We needed wood for our fire so Kurtis, Mike (who took these pics) and Darin, Coltin, Tyler & Landon went out and gathered wood. Kurtis said that Mike even pitched in quite a bit and helped! She probably felt like she needed too being around those boys! Cuz those Howard boys know how to work hard. I told my girls I was going to send them with Darin for a week and teach them how to work. That would be a great boot camp for them.

Here is the pile of fire wood they collected and cut up. Not Bad! We had plenty.This one is Steph and Kambrees fire they built. They decided we needed one right in the middle of the day. Then they built it and went inside the trailers and played. This pic is Kurtis and Sam. They went up the road for a little ride.Here is a few pics of Steph riding around our campsite.

Ok so there was one bad thing about this camping trip......THE BEES! Yellow Jackets and Wasps attacked us! It was like a Sci Fi movie! Attack of The Killer Bees or something. I'm not joking, they were bad! Here is a picture of the kids with swatters attacking back at the bees. Everywhere they turned there was a bee.Here is the bee trap that Darin had his boys go down home and get. All the dark spots that you see are bees, there were about 30 or more inside of it and that was just after about 1 hour.

Here is Kambree and Steph riding around on the Recon.Here is Kambree and Steph roasting their marshmallows around "THEIR" campfire.This pic is Sam, Steph and Kambree messing around the log pile. It was starting to get dark here and a little cooler. But it didn't keep them from having some fun. I'm not quite sure what they were trying to do with this log, but it kept them entertained.

Steph is ready for the hunt! Either that or she going to work with dad at UDOT.Sam and Steph here messing around on the Recon. You go orange girls!

Here is Sam, Steph and Kambree showing that they are the mighty hunters......even without their guns. Yeah! Girl Power!

Yip, that would be me cooking the Saturday "BIG BREAKFAST". See I tell ya, I do cook once in a while. hahahah!I think Steph was a fire bug up their. She had just as much fun playing with the fire as she did on her four wheelers.Kim and Kambree had to leave early. Here they are getting ready to go. They came up in this cute little Japanese truck. The steering is on the right side. They have it for sale. We told Mike that maybe we could buy this for her when she can drive. She laughed at us. It was cute though. I think it would be kind of fun to have! Mike didn't come out of the trailer to much because she hadn't been feeling very good. She also had a lot of homework to do! but once in a while we got a glimpse of her.

Here is some of Sam enjoying her 4-wheelin time, but as always she has to pose for the camera!

You can tell Sam is going fast in this pic....look at her pony tail. Pippy Long stocking eat your heart out!

Kurtis in his "normal" attire got some rides in too.

Ok, ok now with all those bees I talked about, there is no way that nobody came out unscathed! Yes poor Steph got stung. It's a good thing I sent Kurtis home for the benadryl the day before because the poor thing is allergic to bees. She got stung right on her arm. Landon also got stung too!Sam of course can't go camping without building a city, so here she is down in the dirt and rocks building her grand city. She says she is going to be an architect. I believe her!

I think Sam has a rooster on her head!

THANKS MOM!

The Howard Boys went hunting all day Saturday. They went up Levan Canyon, but no deer. They came back to the camp just long enough for a quick break, then loaded up on the four wheelers and went hunting in our area. Still no deer.

It was a nice weekend. Me, Kurtis and Steph took a long ride on the 4-wheelers. I didn't take my camera though cuz it was way dusty! Me and Sam then took a long ride up to the Pinery, then snuck off on a side road that goes into Darins property. I was just hoping I could remember which trails took us back to the campsite. Between me and Sam, we have a great sense of direction because we made it back. (Or it was just pure luck). Then me and Kurtis went for another dusty ride around Darins property. Its beautiful area up in there......but no deer. hahahahah I thinks some of the greatest fun was getting to sit around the campfire at night and listening to Sam tell jokes, or try to tell them. She was reading some jokes out of the Readers Digest, but 1/2 of them she didn't get. The kids also tried to tale ghost stories, but they didn't end up being to scary. Great Times! But sad to say, I think that was our last camping trip until next spring. It's time to winterize the trailer and tuck it away until it gets warm again. I can't wait to go again.